Guestwriter: Brad Bliven
In an effort to crush the spirit and life out of Maryland Football fans, the University of Maryland has restricted parking on campus to permit holders only. Long gone are the days of carefree tailgaiting while enjoying a welcoming environment of family oriented fun in a collegiate atmosphere. The cash lots that were previously available to the average, true fans and students have been replaced in favor of holding grounds for the POSH elitists. Maryland has gone the way of professional sports in their view of fans; mindless, walking dollar signs who are expected to dole out constant streams of cash at the expense of traditional collegiate values.
While mourning the inevitable death of the sacred tailgating experience at the professional and collegiate levels, I usher in the new era of American sports - Homegating! Instead of dealing with all the perversity that sports have become at the actual venues, we should instead turn home and be with our friends and family. Afterall, this was the the reason for many of the taigating events of the past. Rather than spending gobs of money while making the fat cats richer, HOMEGATING allows you the opportunity to invest in your own HDTVs while having a better view of the game in the comfort of your own home with friends and family. Gone will be the days of $30 parking and $10 beers (Redskins fans know what I'm talking about). Ladies...the benefits to you are priceless, no bathroom lines!
Although many fans will shed tears of saddness for the death of American Tailgating, millions more will soon cry tears of joy as they realize the dream and comfort of Homegating !
No comments:
Post a Comment